Are you successful? It’s a loaded question, isn’t it? How do you define success? Dictionary.com offers multiple definitions. It is, “the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one’s goals.” It’s also defined as, “the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like.” One is intrinsically personal, based on an individual’s endeavors. The other is contingent on a societal status, as viewed by others. Both are valid definitions. But do they carry equal weight, when your story is told? The answer to that question is likely driven by what you value.

Hopefully, one day, people you have known will gather around and reflect on your life. You won’t be there in physical form, but make no mistake that you’ll be there. People will look back upon your works, and they will evaluate you. Were you successful? I know this because I’ve attended many gatherings of this nature. When we die, how will we be remembered? I’ve been to memorial services and funerals where the reflection of others centered on the latter definition of success. I’ve been to services where the nicest thing said about the departed was that they were successful at work. They met the second definition of success, but nothing was offered up to demonstrate their success by the first definition listed above.

I don’t want you to get the wrong impression. I’m not saying that the second definition of success, which I refer to as status success, is bad. I’ve attained a small portion of it myself. I’m not ashamed of it, but when I leave this world, it’s not how I want to be measured. It will only be one of my endeavors in life. It does not speak of what I did to obtain that status. I can also say that when I measure my own success, I have derived little or no joy from accomplishments directly related to status success. If any happiness has been found in those efforts, it has been fleeting. For me, status success is more a means to achieve a broader meaning of success.

When it’s time for the people who know me to come together to remember and measure me, I hope no time is spent talking about my career or the material success I may have encountered along the way. Did I treat people well? Did I try to be a better human being each day? Was I aware of my shortcomings? Did I use my voice in the furtherance of others? Was I a helper? Did I love and was I loved in return? When I feel like I’ve accomplished any of those goals at the end of any given day, that is when I feel the most happiness. If you gather around in my memory, that is the yardstick I would want you to use to determine if I was successful, or not.