Tag: gratitude

473,040,000 Seconds

473,040,000 seconds. I didn’t know fully what to expect that Summer day when you smiled at me. How could either of us appreciate the journey we were about to embark upon? Our plan was to simply have some fun in life, something we both needed as surely as we needed air to breathe. No, I didn’t know what to expect or what I was getting myself into. It scared me as much as it thrilled me.

Since that moment, I have watched us grow into full-fledged adults. We have laughed and we have done the hard things, neither of us naive enough to believe there aren’t more hard things to endure. The seconds that will follow still scare me as much as they thrill me.

378,432,000 of those seconds have been shared with you, in the grandest experiment to be imagined…parenthood. Part science project and part creation of art, the laughs have outnumbered the tears to this point. Somehow, we have managed to not screw the whole thing up, all the while growing closer to each other.

Neither of us were looking for these sublime seconds that we’ve shared since that Monday in June. Somewhere along the way, quietly and earnestly we decided to keep pulling in the same direction. And pull we have. A strange paradox has been created, where I can remember every one of those 473,040,000 seconds since you smiled at me, though it is difficult for me to imagine a second before, without you.

However we measure our time together, I’m thankful I get to measure it with you.

Great Britain, Curiosity and Eating the Bacon

Hi everyone!  I just wanted to drop a quick note to let you know that The Curated Man is going to take a brief hiatus so that I can spend a couple of weeks traversing Great Britain with my family.  I don’t plan on doing any writing while we’re gone, as my focus will be enjoying the experience with the people I love most in the world.  My next post here is slated for June 21st, with a very special message for someone.  Until then stay curious, choose love, eat the bacon (or cupcake) and let the people closest to you know how much you love them.

Rob

The Slow Burn – Happy Mother’s Day

They say parenthood changes you the minute your child is born. I used to think the same thing. Here’s a little secret though. It didn’t for me. There was an evolution. And while it certainly started the day I found out I was going to be a parent, it was a slow burn to appreciate a parent’s love. It still is an evolution.  Every day deepens the love I have for my child.  I wish I could say it was instantaneous, but it wasn’t. And that’s ok.  I can imagine Shani feels similar.

They also say that behind every successful man, there is a great woman.  That is not true.  It’s rarely ever just one great woman.  I can list many, including the young lady my daughter is becoming.  These women didn’t just support me.  They pushed me.  They made me grow.  They aren’t the supporting cast.  They are among the leaders I have followed in this life.

I’ve had the privilege to watch my beautiful wife evolve into an even more beautiful mother. She is not the same woman I married. She’s better. She inspires me to be a better father. She doesn’t let me stay in stagnant in what I am. Instead, she shows me what I can be.  On this Mother’s Day, I offer my love, respect, and admiration for this remarkable woman. Happy Mother’s Day to each of you that impact the lives of your children and families, the way Shani does for us.

 

 

You’re Wearing That? – How Little Acts of Service and Gratitude Promote Healthy Marriages

When you take a moment to think about how difficult it is for two human beings to live harmoniously with each other, it’s remarkable that all marriages do not end in divorce.  Occasionally, I remember exactly how much Shani loves me.  Seriously, she has to really love me to be able to take all of my quirks, peculiarities, and faults in an effortless stride.

Of course, the factors that make a successful marriage are innumerable.  What a successful marriage looks like will even vary from couple to couple.  And of course, the upkeep of a marriage takes the commitment of two people. All of these factors certainly cannot be explored in a 600-word blog post.   I will also never claim to be an expert in keeping a successful marriage.  In fact, the only thing I come close to being an expert in is napping.

What I am is a guy who tries hard to be a good husband.  I’ve somehow managed to stumble my way through mistakes and challenges with an amazing woman, to string together a decade-plus relationship, earning the privilege to keep trying to do it better tomorrow.  What I’ll share is some of those lessons I’ve learned along the way;  my observations. What I do to be a better partner with my spouse.

This week I was reminded of one of those lessons I’ve learned.  I was reminded of how much Shani loves me.  You might expect that there was some grand gesture made or maybe an expensive gift was given.  You would be wrong.  It was a small gesture, one that could easily go overlooked.  I had left a load of laundry in the dryer overnight.  This load contained almost every work appropriate shirt I owned.  The next morning, I retrieved a shirt from the dryer to wear to work.  Of course, it was well wrinkled from its overnight stay in the dryer.

I inspected the shirt.  Shani inspected the shirt.  I shrugged my shoulders and proclaimed it acceptable to wear that day.  Shani made it known that she disagreed with my assessment.  I was off to the shower. She was off to make her husband presentable to the public.  After my shower, I found the shirt freshly ironed.  She’ll tell you it was as much about maintaining her own professional image (we work for the same company) as it was in helping me maintain mine.  Regardless, it was an act of service that she didn’t need to perform.  It was an example of love being used as a verb.  And I was grateful.

This was the point where I applied one of those lessons I’ve learned about keeping our relationship healthy.  It wasn’t enough for me to recognize this little thing and feel gratitude, though that is definitely an important part of the equation.  The recognition and gratitude I felt wouldn’t mean much unless I carried out the final step in the process. I had to tell her.  It wasn’t enough to feel loved; she needed to know that I felt loved. Simple yes, but you would be surprised how many of us forget to complete this final measure.  It wasn’t hard.  All I had to do was tell her, “Thank you.”  I did that a couple of times that day.

Sometimes we can’t see the forest through the trees.  We start believing that the grand overtures are what keep our relationships afloat.  We forget that the little things are just as important, if not more so, as the flashy things.  It’s those little acts of service and the simple, genuine displays of appreciation that are the unsung heroes of our relationships.

Enough about me, what are your experiences with those little acts?  What have you learned along the way?  I welcome you to share your own stories by commenting below!