There is an old adage: Judge a man not on his words, but rather upon what he does. Malarkey, I declare!
While it is certainly true that actions can speak louder than words, it doesn’t negate the power that the words we use have on our influence.
Instead, we should be judged upon our words and by our actions. Even more specifically, does what we say match up with what we do? That is our measure.
From a young age, I have been fascinated by the concept of leadership. What makes a good leader? What have renowned leaders done to achieve such regard? This curiosity pulled me into a lot of informal study of leadership, even if I didn’t recognize that was what I was doing at the time. Biographies still remain my favorite genre of books, especially those profiling and studying leaders of significance.
This eventually led to the choice of study for my graduate degree, earning a Master of Administration degree with an emphasis in leadership. I have been fortunate enough to be able to exercise those principles in my occupational journies throughout the years. More significant though, was realizing that leadership at work was but the tip of the iceberg. The reality is that my most significant leadership opportunities have existed outside of a conference room.
To some extent, we all exert influence over others in life. If you needed to break down the meaning of leadership to one word, I would offer that precise definition: Influence. And while the principles of leadership are far more complex and nuanced, influence is a fundamental building block. When you look at it from that perspective, it’s easy to see how all of us have the ability to seize an opportunity to display leadership abilities. This leads me to my question for you…are you a leader?
It’s ok if the answer doesn’t immediately jump out at you. But I believe it’s a question to spend some time thinking about. After all, leadership does not equal being the boss. It doesn’t mean someone gets their way and somebody else doesn’t. In fact, leadership is about developing and communicating a joint vision and a plan to help you and others to achieve that vision. Leadership is not a position and carries with it no legitimate authority. One of the greatest foils of being a leader is selfishness.
With that understanding, I have no issue with saying that I’m a leader of my family. And in turn, so is my spouse. We learn from each other every day. One of my jobs as a father is to take a vision and influence my daughter to see the same things I see. And one day, to lead her to embrace the confidence to build and communicate her own vision.
So I ask you again…are you a leader? If your answer is yes, what does that mean to you? If you’re unsure, what are your thoughts about leadership means? Share your thoughts by leaving a comment. I want to hear from you. As always, thank you for those that have taken the time to follow along and subscribe to The Curated Man.
Sometimes, when I reflect on what it means to be a father to a soon to be teenage daughter, the weight of that responsibility can seem a bit overwhelming. There’s an internal struggle between a primal desire to protect her and a hopeful desire to see her blossom into the young woman I know she can be. There is that constant tug and pull between protecting her from the world that can hurt her and allowing her to learn from her mistakes in order to thrive in that same world. In the end, I strive to not become the overbearing dad while still providing her with as safe as an environment as is reasonable, to allow her to mess up and learn things for herself. For me, it’s much easier in theory than it is in practice.
When the rubber meets the road, how does a man do this? Here are four things that can help find that balance, hopefully alleviating some of that weight on our shoulders.
Dads, I would love to hear about your own experiences. How have you managed to strike the balance between protecting and letting go? I want to hear from you!
The Curated Man 